You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
