Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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