No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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