did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
My vagina just clenched in fear
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
