i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
