I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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