is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
