i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
