Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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