where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
