I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I will be naked everywhere
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
