No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
