apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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