I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
