she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
