he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
