Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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