I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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