We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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