Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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