The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
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