You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Randomize
