My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
