You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
