More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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