I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
