hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
