whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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