What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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