Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
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