I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
