Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
