remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
