And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
i dont even know how to be here
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
