In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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