Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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