I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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