ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
