Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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