who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
