Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
