I wannas sexs uuuuu
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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