Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
When are your genitals available?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
