i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
