Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
false alarm, still single
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