i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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