how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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