I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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