the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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