So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
